Sproactually

Random un-medicated ping pong balls of my mind.

2012-01-28T20:19:00.003-05:00

Written in spits and spurts over several days... hence the nuttiness of it.

Have you ever been to Pine Hill? It's not very big, a short main street, some cabins, a bar, restaurant, community center. There is a small core group of full time residents trying to boost the little main street, open and keep businesses going and they really are committed to the place. What made me think of this, not a clue.

Talking with someone I know at work this week, next week is his last week. Yup, laid off, but since number of people being "laid off" is under a number set by the state, it's not called a layoff, they get the half the severance most others have. I hate it. I am very tired of it.

My oldest son is getting married, and I don't like it. It smacks of my tremendously poor choices years ago. As an added bonus my ex-wife is all wrapped around the axle about this. I can't help feeling upset over all this.

Friday was one of my sisters birthday, so 2 of my sisters and my father had dinner at the Peekskill brewery. Me, being the train nerd, took the train. My father is looking old, that is upsetting me too.

I took a half day Friday for a no heat call. Bad intermittent ignition module in a gas furnace, fixed that.

Monday I am replacing 2 zone valves, one is stuck on.

I'm still struggling personally, not sure how to rectify that, but some times are better than others is about all I can say about it. So instead of talking about bike issues, or train things, i talk about myself.

Wallflower

2012-01-18T08:10:00.000-05:00

Just a little update on my 2012 personal improvement, still doing okay. Not great, but better than I was in 2011!!

I won't say that I haven't been keeping tabs where I shouldn't, but again, I have been dealing with those feelings pretty well and tempered with, ahh, a more appropriate level of maturity. I have them corralled up, so yes,
I still want to be with you, but I never will be. Translated to the truth sucks, but it is what it is, and accepting it. As stupid as this sounds, it has been hard for me.

In other news...

CSX has made an agreement to sell what is know as the Poughkeepsie Cluster, the piece of the former New Haven Maybrook line (nee.. Central New England RR) to the Walkway over the Hudson Group, who will then donate it Dutchess county. I don't know if that includes the original CNE Hospital branch and smith street yard. That announcement is supposed to happen today.

Still no action on my Kitchen... it's coming though...

You wait all week for the weekend and then...

2012-01-15T16:37:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I'm reading a C.J Box novel, this one is different, it is not a Joe Pickett novel. The main guy, Cody, is a drunk. He is going to AA, been sober a couple of months and his sponsor is murdered. He has a bender and now he is calling anyone that he disappointed. I am guessing that is a 12 step AA thing, but it must be hard to do. (That is a far as I am into the book right now)

I have not had anything to drink since last Tuesday, dieting and all. But I do miss hitting Sals, only because things are a little quiet these days. Next weekend I am planning to do some skiing and a maybe night out. A few Michelob Ultras won't hurt me.

I am starting to think about doing something with my kitchen, which means pulling the light fixtures and painting. All ready I am wrapped around the axle over new lights, and the countertop, oh lord what to pick. I can't wait for wall paper.

I tried to buy a lamp for my living room, visiting various retail outlets and not finding anything dowdy enough to please me, until Lowes, and it came in a two pack!! I could replace that ugly thing next to my bed too. I go home, excited to use my new lamp, so I could ready by some easy light on my couch. Open the box up, and yup, busted.

Drag the thing back today, and the other one is in pieces too. Okay, so I hit the local Lowes, they have one, but it's been returned, all thrown in the box, really, your selling that? I picked out 3 other lamps, 2 that come as units, and they don't have either one, and one as a base and shade, you guessed it, no shades. Nice way to not make any money.

I had brunch with my daughter too, and caught up with her.

I'm sort of lonely, but too shy to do anything about it. And that is me.

Out of the frying pan

2012-01-09T19:57:00.002-05:00

I know why bicycle commuting will never work for me. I own 2 cars.

Rode into work again today, and all ready the fitness is returning. Always does. I was feeling funky about riding to work before I left for home today, and after about 15 feet on the bike, that went away.

Will I make 3 days in a row tomorrow??? Can't say yet. I can't shake the feeling like I am playing hooky or that riding to work means that i am not really going to work. It's odd, not unlike me.

I was cleaning up from dinner tonight, looking at my frying pan, trying to remember where it came from. It was one of the few things I brought early on after moving out of my house and into an apartment after I split. For some reason while I was staring at it, the feelings of fear and panic filled my mind. They were the ones after I split, thinking how was I going to do this, afford this and make it work.

15 years later, lots of questions in my mind. I don't think I did a good job, but what is done is done. The frying pan still works, it's actually been a pretty good pan, it has seen quite a bit of use.

West Coast

2012-01-08T19:01:00.005-05:00

25 years ago my wife and I stepped onto an American Airlines Boeing 767-233 at JFK right around this time of the year, the ship was brand new, like delivered just a few days before, uber shiny and it smelled new. We flew to San Francisco, rented a car, saw some friends, toured the coast and did the tourist thing. It was on this trip my Daughter was conceived, pretty sure of it. It might be TMI, but it wasn't always bad being married, it just seems that way now.

At the time this song was being played to death on the radio.

Hearing it brings me right back to 1986, driving on the coast highway, or to Tahoe.

A couple of years ago the song was redone by Sugarland and countrified, and I like the new version as much or more. But both still makes me feel good.

Wow, it's been a long time, the 200 series 767's have moved on to freighter duty, or have been scrapped. I am no longer married, and my Daughter is a quarter century old. I went back to San Francisco a few years ago, for a conference. Rode the cable and street cars, toured Alcatraz and might have even attended the conference. Sometimes, however brief those times are, I miss it.

Shadow over the Hudson

2012-01-08T16:32:00.000-05:00

Lights on

2012-01-06T07:59:00.002-05:00

It was 28 degrees this morning, with a promise of 48 later. So I pulled on my rain pants, a fleece and my light jacket, neck gaiter, hat and gloves. Collected a hair brush, my work ID and cloth bag.

Topped that with my larger helmet and my orange geek vest and rode my bike to work.

45 minutes later I was sucking down my first cup of coffee. 3 minutes after that I was looking for more coffee.

I really want to do this, and have for a really long time, to be a cool urban hip bike commuter. The problem is, I live in suburbia, and it is a great deal easier to drive. The majority of bike commuters ride 3-6 miles, in urban settings and the prep and ride time is close to a bus ride or drive time for them. Not so much for me, 15 minutes vs. 45. And parking, we have acres of parking, so that is not an issue. I have tried before and the ride is a single shot event. I am always fast to embrace a reason not to ride, it's too cold, too hot, i have to go somewhere, etc. etc. Granted, when there is snow on the ground, that is a real issue because the roads once clear, are narrow, and riding on the snow is slippery, and there are 2 areas that I have to ride path/sidewalk that is never cleared, and is piled with snow from the roads.

But for 2012 I would like to bike more, and making a commitment to ride more overall. And the desert like dry winter we are having, really means I should be able to ride next week too.

We'll see...

You need money to gamble.

2012-01-05T06:52:00.001-05:00

In the Governors state of the state speech there were too many words, with very little useful information. Once again Casino gambling is being touted as the savior of the state. The fact is, there are too many places to gamble now, and these places don't create any real jobs. Jobs were people work all night serving drinks will not build a strong viable community. Vegas style gambling has been in Atlantic City now for what, 30 years? And the place is still a unsafe dump. I don't see Niagara Falls NY any better off with that big casino there?

Lets look in the mirror here for a moment, gambling only works if people have money to spend.

Oh, and not a SINGLE word about fracking. Nice job Cuomo, why face the issues.

And in my very boring personal life. Well, I'm screwed, that about sums it up.

Garden Trains

2012-01-02T18:45:00.005-05:00

Just to let you know how far behind I am... about 3 weeks ago I went to the New York Botanical garden. Inside the conservatory they setup buildings and city scapes made out of trees and leaves and natural stuff. Oh, and they run G-scale trains around it all. Did I mention they call this the Holiday Train show?

I enjoyed the show, and the Conservatory, very fascinating place. I also wandered around the outside gardens, which, given it was December were not all that impressive. I think I should return in May or Early June.

Anyway, some pictures.

If God really did answer prayers.

2011-12-29T23:31:00.002-05:00

You would think with the amount of time I hang out (it's not really all the much) at train stations, I could meet a female railfan?

Just sayin...

Oh, and a post posted edit, guess who I saw southbound on 9 today around 2:50, and I didn't like get all swooney or goofy...

And... had dinner tonight at the Artist palette, and had the lobster mac and cheese, so there.

And... I'm not going to work tomorrow.

30 Days

2011-12-29T09:43:00.000-05:00

Are you bored to tears yet? Good, you will be now.

I've gone a month without any drunken e-mails or facebook wall posts. Getting what amounts to a grasp on what the truth is verses what I want has been sobering enough in it's own right. Keeping my focus is key, key to keeping my focus is exercising, filling my time with more meaningful and productive pursuits. Making sure that I have people around me to keep that positive energy. There is so much more I need to do to make my life matter. I'll never leave a mark of greatness, but I should at least try and leave without all my negative things on peoples mind.

All that being said, I have a lot of work to do. Work that I will not do on my own. Thus in lies the challenge of finding a partner to help you, but someone who you inspire as well. As I was daydreaming over my crush of the week, and there were blue jeans involved (see, I'm not dead yet!). It was then that I knew that I had made some progress in shaking free some of the stuff that has been stuck like lint to my shirts.

I hope this is not negative sounding, because it's not. But i need to embrace how this makes me feel, and from that perhaps I can be a better person. I really would want the crush of the moment to see me as someone desirable, interesting and worth investing some effort into. Rather then me being overwhelmed feeling like that instead.

But then again, the blue jeans, oh the blue jeans......

50 percent

2011-12-27T09:59:00.001-05:00

Okay, we are half way through the holidays.

For Christmas my kids showed up for dinner, it has become a much more adult event these days, my older son was up from Georgia with his girlfriend and it was just a nice time.

The day after Christmas I broke last years record of the number of Ski days and went skiing at Hunter Mountain. Of course, I left my poles leaning up against my garage door, and thought briefly and foolishly, i don't need them. BUZZZ... wrong. I needed them in the lift lines and feeling the "ting" of the pole hitting the snow on a turn is just part of the experience. I was able to "borrow" a set from Jessica. (Thank you again!!) I need to do something about my boots, I have never really been happy with them, I am used to having to tighten them at least 3 times, but I don't think I should have to do that, the last thing you need is ankles loose, but my heels are loose too, I am wondering if the liners in them wear out?

Given the warm and odd winter, the ski areas have been slow to get up and running. Conditions on what was open was VERY good, with just a couple of small areas of iffy coverage. There was always something to grab a edge on, the crews at Hunter Mountain have been busy and have done a great job.

After skiing I enjoyed a great turkey dinner with some friends up there, heard some ummm, interesting conversation that can't be repeated here without blogger blocking me. I loved every moment of it.

So as 2011 wraps up it's time to think about those resolutions for next year. The short list, Ski more, Bike more, Eat less, Work Smarter and take better care of my self.

Black Sharpies welcome.

2011-12-18T10:19:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry, but i have just been loving this song the last few days.... And it even has a little Holiday theme.

2 Weeks

2011-12-15T09:09:00.001-05:00

It's been a couple of weeks since I eliminated 2 distractions from my daily routines. And right now from my postilion, it has helped. It has allowed me to recognized that my own shyness and inaction was causing some of the anxiety and out of control feelings in me. By positioning myself in a place that desire for someone that was not acted upon. In reality was not really something that could be acted upon, and I was allowing myself to churn and buzz over someone I found very attractive and desirable. It has not hurt that I have been very busy with a bathroom rip out as well. But by breaking the connections that made me focus on this person has allowed me to at least stop digging in the hole I am in. And the first rule of being in a hole, is to stop digging!!

That is not to stay that I don't think about this person, and in some very adult ways, but I'm not fighting impulses to act upon these thoughts.

I have managed to restore some peace to my life. But the highs are so high, and lows, well, suck. Maybe it's sort of like an entry level bi-polar thing.

The good is good for now.

Last months pictures.

2011-12-10T19:30:00.006-05:00

Catching up with pictures from my trip down south last month... I had a great visit with my son, meet 2 bloggers and rode trains.

Leaving Poughkeepsie, the day clear, the river calm.

Engine change on Train 97 in Washingtion DC, trains go from over head wire to Diesel here.

Private car "Southern 1" on the rear of 97 in Washington DC.

Train 97 on the platform in Savannah Ga.

Huge Cruise ship in Tampa

Engine change on Train 20 heading home.

Bare Naked Trees

2011-12-07T21:11:00.003-05:00

We have had some spectacular weekends this fall, really warm days with nice bright skies. Towards the end of last month I went out into the woods in Putnam County and went hiking on the west side of Fahnestock State Park.

I was alone, everyone else jammed over at breakneck ridge with their SUV's littering the shoulder of route 9D, or walking up Mount Beacon. I followed two hikers in and we split after a short while. I would stop and listen to the trees. Not the leaves, which were all over the ground, but the tress. Rubbing together and swaying in the breeze. It was so warm that I removed my shirt for a while, scarring scores of chipmunks and squirrels.

Any place you go around Putnam county you are going to find rock walls, in the 1700 and 1800's the entire area was deforested, first for farm and pasture land, and later the trees burned to make iron. The rocks piled by the farmers as borders after they removed them from the fields. Rocks were strewn all over as the advancing glaciers of the ice age, stopping here, leaving all the crap being pushed in the front of the ice on the ground as it melted. In terms of old, these rocks are the grand daddy's, well over 400 million years old.

Later, i drove down to Cold Spring. I stopped into the Cold Spring Depot, a bar in a former train station. Pretty much my version of heaven. I sat outside and enjoyed cold beer and a sandwich sitting about 6 feet from Metro-North's Hudson line. The M-N trains slowing for or accelerating from the Cold Spring Station. Amtrak Empire Service trains flying by at track speed. I wandered down to the river, and watched the shadows of the sun grow long over the Hudson River, the day rapidly cooling, my hands wrapped around a cup of coffee.

Ahh, the week is ending

2011-12-02T09:38:00.001-05:00

All right, so things have been a tad better for me, not that any one cares, but this recap is more for me than anyone else.

Work has been better without the constant checking I was doing with some changes to my on-line nonsense world. I still am paranoid about losing my job, and that really is another issue that I need to work on. But I am focusing a little bit better, but I won't hide the fact that some self medication has been going on in the evenings.

Saturday will be a fun filled day of removing some cast iron drain pipe and running new drains, and if everything is wrapped up there. That will leave Sunday open for a trip to the city. (TRAINS!!) Monday after work I'll be setting up for a supply line re-plumb for the following Saturday, so hopefully I'll be caught up some from my trip down south.

Tonight I have a dinner date, and I'm looking forward tales of accidental (fill in the blank). All I know is it's never been accidental for me, matter of fact my fading memory seems to recall a whole lot of work involved.

I just need to get out.

Where are the keys?

2011-11-29T06:20:00.002-05:00

If I had any spirituality left in me, and was actually in the association of positive people, they would throw me out anyway. I would have to respond to that old line when God closes one door, another one opens with.....

That God failed to mention the LONG DARK HALLWAY full of shit on the way to the next door.

I took another step down that hall, it took me days to do it, but in the end I am only fooling and abusing myself.

Looking at some plumbing tonight...

Torn

2011-11-27T17:32:00.003-05:00

Torn between friend deletion or buying a case of orange soda. What, this makes no sense to you... try being me.

My youngest son turns 21 tomorrow. I have mentioned in the past that there is some issues there, mainly he's doing nothing. Guess what, my last child support payment is this week. I wonder if his mother will keep enabling this? This is brutal on me, but i have done everything I can, and even let him stay here, which lasted 2 days once he determined that I meant what I said.

This could be a very trying week for me.

So let go or buy the soda? I'll do nether, because that is how I roll.

2011-11-26T06:54:00.000-05:00

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

My quiet drive in the rain

2011-11-23T06:08:00.004-05:00

Well, it is the eve of Thanksgiving, and all is quiet. First off, for me personally I am quietly continuing to stick to my plan. Trust me, the self made arguments for reversing some of the changes are compelling. That however will cause me to fail. And not fail in a spectacular ball of fire over a cliff way, but just a little bit inside of me, going back to exact spot that i have been in for years. I want to be bigger than that. Right now it is just a 2 week timer, an endpoint. As I was sweeping the basement floor this morning after cat box duties, and I thought about my uncle. How everything was right and seemed to be in place. The man always moving forward and in a positive way. I don't have that sense about my life, and have not really had it for a long time.

But tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I will be thankful to someone for something.

And for those of you foolish enough to be traveling today, be careful, take your time, and be safe.

And if you don't want to drive, Amtrak will have extra trains for you. (so will most other commuter agency's)

The Highway of my mind.

2011-11-22T06:49:00.001-05:00

Okay, so it's Tuesday, and all ready my insides feel like they want to explode. I slept a long time last night, but waking up was filled with inappropriate yet quite pleasant thoughts. The inside of my head must look like a busy freeway interchange, everything going somewhere really fast, but with no end point. It started when I left work yesterday down, really down, it was a hard afternoon which i turned against myself. I put some laundry away, made some dinner, laid down to read and I bet I was out before 8:30.

I am feeling frustrated with work, scared I don't know enough or do enough. Most definitely feeling a lack of intimacy, I won't call it loneliness, but i don't feel like I have any backup or support, a safe person to hold, or to hold me when I need it. Couple that frustration with some of my spontaneity, and that is when the drunken e-mails (I did not drink last night) get sent. (Not only am i stronger, and better looking when drunk, I become an awesome writer too) Thankfully I know better than to drive when I am that clever, so it prevents me from actually showing up in person.

But, on a positive note, not being able to check facebook or stats, a huge win for my OCD self. That actually has a calming effect on me right now.

I made a video

2011-11-21T06:51:00.000-05:00

I took some video coming home on the Crescent in northern Virginia last week, and even managed to clip it together and add music. But to me, this is what a train ride is all about.

The woods sound different with the leaves gone

2011-11-20T16:43:00.003-05:00

We had a spectacular day here in the Hudson Valley, I headed a little south today and hiked into the words just east of Cold Spring. After a energetic hike up to East Mountain, I cooled off and took a break. Taking my time heading down, listing to the stream and trees.

Reflecting on the last couple of days and knowing the steps I have in progress are the right ones. The key will be sticking to the changes over the next couple of weeks. This will help me, and help resolve the general malaise I have been feeling at work too, mainly by removing the constant distractions of looking for a sign or updates or checking on things.

I had a nice late lunch at the Cold Spring Depot, and i found some great ice cream that I enjoyed by the river.

Time well spent today, and my legs got some needed work. I am on the right path, now I just have to stick to it.

I so want to be back on the train.....

2011-11-20T10:01:00.001-05:00

Not my video, but i did ride the train...

Questions others ask, Questions to myself that I ignore.

2011-11-18T08:38:00.000-05:00

I am back to work, which may excite some people, but I have not been finding it all that rewarding, other than being paid. When someone returns from a long distance train trip, everyone seems to want hear stories of disasters, being stuck and having a miserable time. Not only was every single train on time, train 20 was 20 minutes early into Penn Station after a fast run up the corridor. The viewliners riding very well at high speed, as good or better than a Amfleet car. I suspect once the old Diners are replaced they will run the Long distance trains at 125 MPH on the corridor, right now the limit is 90 for them.

Going South I was looking forward to seeing my son, it was anticlimactic to step off the train in Poughkeepsie, in the rain, to no one. One question that I kept getting asked is why would anyone take a train, it takes so long. Well, no, not really, I left Poughkeepsie at 11 AM, and stepped off the train the next day at 7:45 in the morning. 21 hours. Yes, flying would have taken about 7-9 hours, 2-4 hours to get to either Albany, Newark or LaGuardia, check-in and Security dwell time, a flight to Atlanta, layover and a flight to Savannah. But for me, the train was part of the vacation, a good book, cold beer a short walk away, meeting people in the diner while having a pretty good meal and being able to put my feet up, and enjoy a book with no other distractions.

The other question, why do you like trains? Who can answer that one, it's some crooked gene I guess. Who is not impressed by 8400 horsepower pulling 1.2 million pounds of stainless steel passenger cars? I love mechanical stuff, I even like to fly, face pasted to a window watching the planes, and I do enjoy sitting in an airport watching people.

So I am seriously bummed out to be home, which may seem confusing, but coming back to what you left can be kind of overwhelming. I have to seriously consider that perhaps a certain obsession i have may be more desperation, or just a bad habit of seeking a woman's approval? It is ironic how I can be conscious of so many things in my life, but yet I still can be caught up in "She's hot, I want her". So yeah, some days It sucks to be me, but truthfully I have no one to blame but myself. The problem for me is taking the small spurts of strength and courage and tuning that to become a consistent presence that I can draw on long term. I cave quickly, and fall back into old ways. It's like a high school drama without the bus ride. I need some ground moving change in my life, because what I have been doing is not working.

But the truth is, I don't want to change. And that is the root of my problem.

Home...

2011-11-16T19:12:00.003-05:00

I made it back home today, to a very happy cat.

I enjoyed spending a few days with my Son in Georgia and Florida. You would think I took a ton of photos, but I failed to do that, i did with my cell phone, but failed with the camera.

Anyway, I made my way home yesterday, waking up in Savannah Georgia, and walking to the bus station. Other than a charted bus, or a local transit bus, I have never traveled by a scheduled bus. Because of trying to fit my vacation days around the days my son could get off created some holes in getting home via Amtrak Silver/Atlantic coast service, I choose to return home via Atlanta. So instead of the the 91/92 or 97/98 train pairs, I would be coming home via 19/20, the Crescent. But to do that, I needed to get from Savannah to Atlanta, and checking Greyhound, they could do that. The upside, the bus was clean, it even had leather seats, it left on time, and got me to Atlanta. But I was way off the bus riding demographic. If I ever get into a heated round of truth or dare, I can say I have ridden greyhound, and since it was only 4 hours, it was okay.

I had lunch in Atlanta with a long time blogger/pen pal, thus making a 2nd real life introduction on my trip. I think it is pretty cool to do that, we spent a couple of hours chatting and just having a face to face conversation. As darkness approached I made my way to the Amtrak station to catch train 20 home.

Leaving Atlanta train 20 looked like this...
P42 #60 and 73
Baggage car 1234
Viewliner 62014,62022
Diner 8512
Amfleet II lounge 28011
Amfleet II long distance coach, 25096,25010,25087 and 25098

In Washington DC, the 2 P42's came off and AEM-7 907 pulled us the rest of the way under the wire.

Here is 20 in DC this morning, with a Northeast regional on next track.

Zipped up inside a leather jacket.

2011-11-13T08:47:00.003-05:00

For years I rode a motorcycle, not a big bike, but a light cruiser, it was more sport bike made up like a cruiser. For a while it held my interest, kept me busy. Taking the long way home meant a 4 hour ride. During the long days of summer, riding comfortably until near dark. The air would chill quick, and without the benefit of the sun the ride would be cold. Bugs bouncing off of you at 60 miles an hour.

It is like that right now here in Florida, I stop and gaze at bikes going by, wanting to be twisting the throttle and toeing the gears. The best description of riding I have ever given is it is like riding a bicycle, down hill, all day. But as soon at the light begins to fade, so do the bikes, too cool to ride at night.

I could never put my legs over a motorcycle again with my father alive, I can't do that to him again. It was about the only sign of emotion I have ever seen from him, and worse, heard about from my sister, he was genuinely upset when I busted my shoulder up.

Last year I clocked well over 2000 thousand miles on a bicycle, 900 miles alone just riding across New York, twice. When I was riding a motorcycle, i would cover at least 3000 miles. The feeling of wanting a motorcycle fades quickly, but the urge... it's like crack ya know...

It is great seeing my son, but much like my father, showing emotion or feelings does not come easy for me. I'm not sure about this Kate person in his life, he has offered few details, which scares me. It reminds of my self, my ex Lee Ann and just how I handled that. So I am trying to offer honest non judgemental advice here, as much as the urge to is take all my crappy experience and warn him off. The current ruomor this person may be exposed at Christmas time.

Fighting the urge to be the know it all is not easy for me, well, because I do know it all (check with Star Fleet command, they will confirm that). Seriously, I know some things, but not everything, I am working on that humble thing. But wanting to reach and offer advice or help, where I have not been asked for it is an area I am working on. But anyone that knows me will confirm that I will do what i can when asked.

Silver Meteor

2011-11-12T06:52:00.001-05:00

Train 97 on 9/10/11 Out of New York Penn looked like this...

AEM-7 925
Viewliner 62022,62015,62007
Diner 8524
Amfleet II Lounge 28019
Amfleet II Long Distances Coach 25099,25005,25017,25019

From NY to Washington, we also had a private car on the back, Southern #1, it was dark, so my pictures are pretty poor.

In DC our AEM-7 Motor was swapped for 2 P42's, #195 and 18

This was my first ride in a viewliner, and like every other overnight train trip I have ever taken... I LOVED it.

Here is 97 in Savannah in the Morning..

In between train 280 (Poughkeepsie to New York Penn Station)and 97, I had lunch at STOUT NYC with this blogger/author, Janeen McCrae to talk about her trip. Last year she rode the Trans America Bike 76 Route from Yorktown Va, to Astoria Oregon. A while back I had mentioned that I am GOING to do that ride, and she was part of the reason. Anyway, she wrote a short picutre sort of book of her trip, which I purchased a copy of, and asked her to sign it for me.

Seeing my son waiting the door of Train 97 was the BEST part of the trip though, My car attendent Vic gave him a quick tour of viewliner too!!

Today we're off to ride roller coasters.... and you thought I just liked to ride trains....

Physical vs. Mental presence.

2011-11-09T09:04:00.002-05:00

Physically I am at my work place, mentally, I am in enjoying an overnight train trip to Georgia, and then to Florida.

I am amazed at how little I can do, it is almost zen like, my pulse down to like 12 beats a minute, my fingers placed over my keyboard but not doing anything meaningful. If I was my boss, I'd send me home. Of course, someone scheduled a meeting last night for 12:30 today, like thanks, now I have to dial the phone today.

I really enjoyed my little side trip yesterday blogging about shirts, it almost felt creative and fun. But it was just some easy writing that I enjoyed that also made me feel good inside. I think everyone at some point gets whacked pretty hard by a sour relationship, and in my case it has shielded many of the best things about being with someone behind a wall of pain. Don't think for a minute i'll start to spout any praise for my ex-wife, the hurt and mangled feelings go so far back, and my own anger for allowing my self to be in that position for years and not changing it. I am relieved that I still want something like that, sometimes I wonder if I might be capable of it. Clearly the entire exercise was more wishful thinking than anything else, but every great thing starts with a dream.

I am sure in the world of psychology there is a entire study on the metal makeup that matches me to a tee. I do believe that I am not unique in my mannerisms, habits and how I deal with confrontation. And moving on from my past to present, maybe internally some of what i might be feeling would be considered obsessive, But externally, meaning beyond my own physical presence and what is written here, i don't think you would sense any of this. I don't know how to use what I feel to make someone feel special, or desirable. And, believe it or not, I am shy and fail miserably at meaningful intimacy. And all you Freud followers would put this on my childhood, and you would be correct.

My parents would bury this in Alcohol, every day. Making me an adult child of Alcoholics, another whole subset of issues. Me, I am a 2 beer drunk. And I still don't think I could hold all my fingers up, on one hand for times that I have been truly loaded. I am scared of becoming an Alcoholic, I was in my 20's before I even had a drink. But I find pleasure now in beer, in the taste, in the history and being a snob about it, though a poor one. And since I don't douse my feelings in beer, I have to face them sometimes. And at times I get to relive the stupid things I have done, tried or said, those suck the worse. It is just like watching it on youtube, always there to be played back in the exact detail to make you feel bad, but only at times your mind chooses to do so.

Even all this felt good to write, it's shame because I should be more concerned with Adaptive list prefetching or new QSAM workloads right now, but that will wait until next week. And all those "shirt" feelings, well, they get to stay locked up, because that is where they belong. I can only get away with this right now because I am pumped up to get out of here for a few days, and to see my Son. And now that my Daughter has a job, a real one, with benefits, and is excited about it and the future, I see a glimmer of the rewards of being a parent. I just have to make sure I tell them how proud I am and happy for them.

Something I did not send.

2011-11-08T06:52:00.001-05:00

Last night after work I did a little job, replaced a couple of valves, rebuilt a tub mixer set and condemned a kitchen faucet. It was dark by the time I returned home, but the evening was very pleasant so I went for a walk. I made a loop around the rail trail and school fields and then into town. As I was passing the local tavern i thought, "hmm, maybe I should check to see if Winter Lager is on tap yet?". It wasn't, it was still Octoberfest. Well, I figured I should help to make room for the Winter Lager anyway.

Now, a beer or two will always aid my thought processes, and can make me even more talkative (both verbal and written) then other times. So I've learned that it may not be in my best long term image to send others notes while I am being all extra insightful and clever. And this morning while in the "snooze window" getting ready for today, I was glad that I did not say what I was thinking, because it would have be inappropriate. And Lord knows inappropriate is my middle name.

But here, well, why not. I was thinking about your shirt, not how much you needed to wash it, but wondering more of what would it smell like, soap? What kind of soap do you wash with? Is it always the same? Would it smell like Ivory? Or Laundry detergent? Maybe cigarettes, or smell like outdoors in the fall? Was it a soft shirt, or just a T-shirt? Would your skin be cold or warm under the shirt, you seem to be cold often, but yet, you like the cold? Well, you get the point, don't send drunken e-mails.

I love the smell of Ivory soap, and I will even use it from time to time, but sadly, come this time of the year my skin gets really dry, and Ivory makes it worse. I like smell of safeguard too, odd, yeah, I know. I use tide in my wash, but air dry my clothes, and when I can hang them outdoors this time of the year, I love that smell, or even when I am raking leaves on a breezy day, my clothes will pick up that scent. Someday I'll feel someone's touch on my shoulder again, and how much I enjoy that, and wondering how soft your shirt would be with my hands on your shoulders, makes me wonder how others feel about being touched that way.

Slippery Slide of the pending Vacation

2011-11-07T06:28:00.003-05:00

I have started my descent into full blown vacation mode, and I don't leave until Thursday. On the upside, Saturday was great, and so was Sunday. Put the snows on the truck, changed the oil on car, washed them both and just enjoyed the sunshine, and I made a Target run.

I have a lot planned for my trip south, we'll see how much comes to fruition.

I have to get the house Squared away the next couple of nights, if I can keep away from Playing Zuma Blitz on facebook. It's like crack ya know, you just have to play one more game.

Okay, so that's my random Monday morning.

There will be train pictures in a week or so... so stayed tuned. (or on facebook as I take them with my phone at random intervals that will have no text or description because I only know how to put the mobile uploads up, with no text.)

Think First, Then blink...

2011-11-06T07:40:00.002-05:00

I got a laugh out of this sysadmins sense of humour, guess I'll have to work a little harder.

We trust you have received the usual lecture from the local System
Administrator. It usually boils down to these three things:

#1) Respect the privacy of others.
#2) Think before you type.
#3) With great power comes great responsibility.

[sudo] password for Errm:
Errm is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.
[Errm@Errm flash-plugin]$

Follow you..

2011-11-05T19:13:00.003-04:00

Hey, I had a good day today... I spent most of it working on my Daughters car. What a hassle getting parts for a Ford Focus. And I love the parts guys, you ask for the part, they hand your the part, you explain, "nope, that is not the right part" , "that's what the computer says", "well, that's not even close to the right part". The Manager walking by, "if he says that is the wrong part, you have the wrong part"...

Any way, Hoses, thermostat, coolant temperature sensor, oil change and front brakes later she's on her way home.

A nice dinner with her and just some easy times...

Now I have a really good cup of coffee, a new Michael Connelly book, my cat and some Genesis playing and I am set for the evening. Click the link below for some classic Genesis..

Follow you, follow me..

Filling the hours driving

2011-11-04T08:33:00.003-04:00

My father finally got power back last night, I have been running round trips to his house all week, 2 hours a day driving, then filling gas cans, filling and starting his generator. This on top of working all day. I am exhausted.

Having all that windshield time tends to set my mind off on one of my wishful side trips. These are never productive, and tend to get my head bogged down in a morass of something (okay, fine, someone) I find desirable and the reality of she's just not into me. I wish I could find that one module of my head that makes me do this and just replace it. But you know, the upside is that i spend a few pleasant moments with her, at least in my head. So that helps carry the day too, we all need to dream, don't we?

So the weekend is upon me, and I'll enjoy the time away from work. Next Thursday I take off on my train trip to see my son, I am getting pretty excited about this now!!

The facts, maybe.

2011-10-31T08:18:00.002-04:00

I love this sort of bridge stuff.

Why did the put the Tappen Zee Bridge here?

Welcome Great Pumpkin, and Winter.

2011-10-29T18:37:00.005-04:00

Please note the date, today is October the 29th. I don't live in Oswego, NY, anywhere near the Tug Hill Plateau or flipping Frozen Falls, North Dakota. I have Linus here wigging out because he will not be able to find the Great Pumpkin on Halloween.

Why you ask, because it is snowing, about 3-5 weeks ahead of schedule, on top of that the tress are all groaning and snapping because the dry summer and soaking wet fall have them all confused, and full of leaves.

Any way, my Coleman lantern is on the table ready to go, candles at the ready and all I need to do is flip on my fireplace. I have a coffee pot out in my camping stuff, and a gas stove, so at least I can have coffee.

I went for a walk this afternoon, and took a couple of pictures. Welcome Winter.

Halloween

2011-10-27T06:52:00.002-04:00

Err... Hallowthong.

So I am thinking of talking to a pro.

2011-10-23T18:56:00.002-04:00

I've decided that I have some issues that I need to check on with my youngest son, and I could use some help in figuring out what to do.

Nothing earth shattering happened, but I need some help. So i am working on that list. At first I thought I would just blurt it out right here like I do some times, which helps me to read it and think it over. But I'm thinking I need to take a tougher stance and push for him to get a grip and get some help.

Hence, why I think I'll make use of my EAP, and talk this out.

M'kay, so that's about it for me, busy weekend with painting the back of the house, which is all done, picked up some leaves, cut the grass and did many fall is a coming things this weekend. I also got around to looking at the noise my truck is making, and succeeded in making it worse. Go ME!!

Okay, got some thinking to do now...

Subliminal message

2011-10-21T19:51:00.001-04:00

I'll take you to that concert, just saying.

The Weekend hath cometh. And there was much rejoicing.

A truthful little peek.

2011-10-18T13:48:00.003-04:00

I'm little discouraged today, and tired. It's very hard to come to work every day and feel like that I am this huge burden for the company I work for. I guess if I had someone at home to say it's okay, or that i could lean on it might be better. So I've been anxious, worried, and adrift.

I guess i will never rise to greatness.

My new roof.

2011-10-16T18:06:00.003-04:00

Things have calmed down for me, finally.

Last Monday I put the last of the shingles on the roof over the front window. All the new siding in the back has been primed and caulked. I am going to have to replace the upper siding in the front of the house next summer. But the palace looks good with it's new hat.

My father came up today, and I took him out on the Walkway, his first time. I was glad I could do it and spend time with him. But I see where I get all my "gotta keep moving" issues from.

But I have my feet back on the ground, and hopefully my batterys will charge up a little for the next event...

The last couple of days there has been a little bite to the air, maybe, just maybe that winter thing might happen yet....

How my decsions get made...

2011-10-15T22:13:00.002-04:00

Incoming Text Message....

My wife just brought a SUV, we can go to RAGBRAI next July...

Okay, lets go...

I'm gonna ride my bike across Iowa next July...

Suddenly things are looking better... it always helps to have a goal.

Shame on Eddie Bauer

2011-10-14T18:09:00.002-04:00

For Some reason I received the Eddie Bauer outerwear catalogue. Good, I am in the market for a new Jacket...

The front cover em-blazed with "AMERICAN LEGENDS", inside the first page "The first down jacket patented in America".

There is NOT ONE SINGLE product made in America. A 63 page catalogue of EXPENSIVE jackets and outerwear, all imported.

Don't bother sending me another catalogue.

Pan Am (not the railway)

2011-10-10T22:18:00.002-04:00

Have you seen the new TV show PAN AM???

Well, in the beginning of episode 3, we're riding the subway, or at least sitting inside of a B-Division R11 car. There were some shots of an elevated train, something in the R17 time frame, all very good, and accurate....

Until the train stops... and what do you hear, the first 2 notes of the Westminster chimes.... SOMETHING that did not appear until the R44 cars in 1971. Ironically, the NYCTA R44's have been scrapped, the Staten Island Railroad still runs R44's, and the R32's are 7 years older, and still in daily service (Those Budd Built cars are tough).

So, GOTCHA...

But I love seeing the recreated Boeing 707 (123's I think), though they are remarkably quiet, something the 707 was NEVER called.

But for classic 707 action... it's AIRPORT!!!

Oh, and the French Stewardess Collette.. (Karine Vanasse) is, well, never mind, it's not important..

I'm to old to become a roofer.

2011-10-10T12:01:00.002-04:00

It is really easy on a spectacular day like today to imagine myself as a bicycle commuter.

I almost.. finished my roof this weekend, i just have install the cap over the front window and run a bead of blackjack along the top.

And cleanup the garage
And finish priming the new siding

This is now week 4.......

1st week, re-point the chimmey
2nd week, strip and roof the main part of the house
3rd week, strip, fixed and re-roof the porch roof, cut out the old roof line from the back wall and re-side it.
4th week, install chimmey counter flashing, removed the roof jacks, prime and caulk the new siding, strip the little roof and shingle over the front of the house.

Just lifting a ladder now, my whole body begins to ache, i am physically exhausted to the point of just be constantly, well, exhausted.

But the house looks younger now.

Car 9711 Room 005

2011-10-08T18:31:00.002-04:00

I'm heading to Georgia to see my son, and I'm taking the train...

============================================================
Poughkeepsie, NY (POU) to Savannah, GA (SAV)
10-NOV-11; 11:05 am - 11-NOV-11; 6:44 am
============================================================
Service: 280 Empire Service
Duration: 1 hr, 30 min
Amenities: Snack car
------------------------------------------------------------
Service: 97 Silver Meteor
Duration: 15 hr, 29 min

1 Viewliner Roomette / Car 9711, Room 005

And it gets better....

Amtrak carried 30 million passengers in the fiscal year that just ended. That is the most they have ever carried, if Amtrak was an airline, it would rank #8. But because of how busy they are, all the space on the silver service trains is all ready sold out, so I'm taking Greyhound (oh my) to Atlanta and riding the Crescent home..

============================================================
Atlanta, GA (ATL) to Poughkeepsie, NY (POU)
15-NOV-11; 8:04 pm - 16-NOV-11; 4:38 pm
============================================================

Service: 20 Crescent
Duration: 17 hr, 42 min

1 Viewliner Roomette / Car 2010, Room 005

Amenities: Checked baggage,
Lounge,
Dining car
------------------------------------------------------------
Service: 291 Ethan Allen Express
Duration: 1 hr, 23 min

So it's a win-win-win-win

I get to see my son, I get to ride in a viewliner sleeper, I'm going with the least amount of greenhouse emissions and I can walk to the train station.

Can you tell, I'm actually excited about something!!

Transit (nerd)

2011-10-06T20:07:00.005-04:00

I don't know why from time to time I have to have a conversation with law enforcement about taking photos of transit equipment.

I've seen most of it all ready.

But I was in the 69th Street SEPTA shops last weekend, and caught a trolley bus too. Other than Philly or San Francisco, I can't recall trolley buses running anywhere else.

Oh and what the heck....

The Norristown high speed line

Rode the PCC cars...

And the Broad Street Subway

Do our Executives really think like this

2011-10-06T06:19:00.002-04:00

What it means to be an (our nickname of who we work for):

Below is a brief description of what it means to be an (our nickname of who we work for)

•Innovating how you think and work
•Constantly seeking to build and apply your expertise
•Being an engaged citizen of the world
•Working as a strong collaborator
•And making an impact

I have to be honest, and while I feel two faced here, being all angry and such, but yet still taking a pay check puts me in that unique area known as a hypocrite. My job causes me a great deal of personal angst, I am not particular happy with it, but I also recognized that I am paid to perform tasks. I have looked for other company's to work for, and was offered a job about 4 years ago and just about jumped ship then. The real reality is management is completely focused on eliminating our jobs and sending them to China, Singapore and India. They no longer even put up the facade on anything but this.

So I am not proud of who I work for, and will sooner than later get my wish of not working here. It just won't be on my terms.

Social Media

2011-10-04T06:35:00.000-04:00

I love social media, I love reading about other peoples lives, seeing what they are doing and just how much cooler they are than anyone else.

Problem is, well, really two problems, the first is that my life is a shambles pretty much all the time. Not a talk show like train wreck, but enough that it makes me realize that I am not as cool as i think I am. The other issue is i get kinda focused sometimes on the goings on in others lives. It's all balance grasshopper.

I put a roof on my house last week, worked my brother like a rented mule, my neighbor helped with shingle pick up and my friend Neil came up a couple of days to pound shingles. My body STILL hurts in almost every moving joint and muscle.

My Daughter received a job offer Yesterday, a real job, with benefits. I am so happy about this...

Is this really suppose to be this hard?

2011-09-30T00:00:00.002-04:00

I wonder what in my chemical make up is so messed up? At what point in my development did I fail to receive any sort coping skills.

I have hardly slept at all this week, working on my roof has me in a panic. Why don't I have any sort of "just roll with it" skills? Every thing is some sort of crisis with me.

And add to that the feelings of monumental parental failure, stress from work and overall feelings of inadequacy plus anxiety about who knows what.

It's how I feel, and i can't make it stop. I don't want to be me any more.

I just suck at life.

Today, we race the rain.

2011-09-27T07:05:00.001-04:00

Started stripping the roof my house yesterday...

I can barely move today.

Sometimes, the day ends on a high note.

2011-09-15T06:55:00.002-04:00

So, to build upon what for me, was a very positive post from yesterday. I had interesting / fun chat last night that had me smiling and laughing, making me realize that I have been a little too work bound lately. Short term that is not going to change, but I need to be doing a little more for myself personally.

Unfortunately, I never really get to see this person, but for whatever reason I'm always glad to talk to her, and last night was especially silly and fun, but I am always wanted more, but i keep that to myself.

Wishful thinking

2011-09-14T09:31:00.001-04:00

Last night I wandered down to the Library, selected a novel and season 1 of CSI DVD's. The Librarians were in the back having their dinner, except for the one at the desk. One of the librarians, came to the desk from the back and took my things, and was chatting it up about CSI and other shows. Now, i could (pretty sure I am) be reading more into this than is there, but last time I was there she was extra chatty about music and what not (I was checking out some music CD's) as well.

Maybe I just wanted something good to happen.

The Truth, i'm not so sure I can handle the truth.

2011-09-13T06:24:00.000-04:00

I read what people say, and my cyclical self checkstops when I read "I am excited about life".

I guess I was like that once, and in a moment of weakness this thought flashed through my brain......

I married a selfish spoiled self centered woman and was too naive or horny to know. And she has been methodically and greedily sucking the life out of me since.

Guess sometimes you just need to accept it and move on.

I am really not in a happy place these days.

And why I drink.

2011-09-05T20:18:00.003-04:00

Okay, I can't believe that I have not written anything for a while, but it has been a crazy time for me...

First the easy fun part, July was 2 weeks of bike rides!! 900 miles just doing those rides.. This was the 2nd to last day on the FANY ride heading towards Johnstown.

So coming back from vacation, my youngest son was going to move in with me, go to the local community college and try and get his life back on track. He moved in, and let me tell you, i was stressed out. Clearly his mother has allowed many behaviors that I just will not stand up for. So I made my expectations perfectly clear, you will not be staying up all night gaming, you will get a job and go to school. By the 3rd day, still in bed at 4 PM, he was awoken to 80's pop music playing loudly. Thursday I worked from home, full speed at 6 AM. I don't think anyone has made him do anything in the last year and 1/2. Somehow he convinced his mother to let him return home.

Hey, I did what what I said I would do. This is now on his mother. This week his car becomes hers. I can't and won't do anything if he won't do anything.

For me, I feel like a complete failure. I have struggled so much over the last couple of weeks with all of this. I don't know if I have done the right things, or enough, but after thinking about this, being that my ex-wife pretty much undermines anything i do with the easy path, and allowing things to go on that should have never been allowed, I don't see how i could made much of a difference. That does not solve the current issue, so lets hope he's starts and completes a semester at school.

So this has just made me pretty morose and withdrawn. I am scared for my son, really scared, and I don't know what to do.

And for years I have taken the high road, at least publicly, but you know, I'm sorry I ever met my ex-wife and how that whole period of my life was just a period of no growth or happiness, and how it has just made everything else after it that much harder. And in case Lee Ann ever reads this, read it again, I didn't blame you, I own all this, so don't even bother going batshit over this, not everything is about you.

I don't think kids will ever know how much it hurts being a parent, until they are one too.

2011-08-07T22:07:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I truly wished the whole god thing was true, and that I could pray and ask for help and get it.

Not some mumbo jumbo that god works in mysterious ways, or he's making you stronger blah blah blah....

I need help, real serious help.

The only helpful thing has been hearing other parents talk about trying to get though the same things.

Back home again

2011-08-02T06:18:00.003-04:00

I still have a pretty good bikers high from last week, the fany ride was as good as ever, dinner with Loraine and Diane in Niagara falls (they were from the Canal ride), Dinner with the Princess from last years ride and Old bag from 2 years ago in Johnstown. Other than the first 90 mile day, with 45 miles of big headwinds, the ride was pretty painless, matter of fact the week went so fast that In in my mind it didn't even happen!!!!

2 quick ride tales, the first, I was passed by a horse, pulling a wagon with 2 people in it outside of Penn Yan, yes, really I was passed going up hill by Amish buggy. Told you I was slow!

And the 2nd, I moo at cows (shocking, I know), sometimes they just raise there heads, sometimes a i get a little moo back. But outside of Hamilton, I mooed and the bull in the herd must have taken that as a hint for I'm ready for a little cow relations (with another cow, i was safe).

So lots of yucks, lots of hills, some ice cream, a couple of beers, another tour of the Saranac brewery in Utica after a really fast ride down 12b from Oriskany Falls to make the 3PM tour and about 525 miles for the week. Pictures when I get around to it.

Charging the camera again.

2011-07-22T07:01:00.002-04:00

Perhaps taking a week off, then going back to work for a week, and then taking another week off was not a good plan. I'm not sure if I am working this week, or if I am on vacation.

I am getting ready to take another week off on my bicycle. I am not feeling the love yet, but it's starting build as i transition from work back to vacation.

I did see a bumper sticker that spoke to me (hey, it beats the voices, okay).

Find what you love, love what you find.

A lesson I really need to pay attention to.

Will the right brain please contact the left one.

2011-07-20T06:34:00.003-04:00

Seriously, I have no idea what is going on in my own life right now.

Fear, Dread and t;he sinking feeling becasue I had to go back to "work"k

2011-07-18T06:17:00.002-04:00

I was on Vacation.

It was a great Vacation.

I will bore you soon about my Vacation.

I am at work, this sucks.

Adventures in customer mis-service.

2011-07-07T06:10:00.002-04:00

I almost choked on my avocado and bacon with this one, this sounds just like the genius at the subway in highland...

And it made me think of this..... I don't know why, I long stopped trying to figure out how my mind is organized.

Once upon a time I was in line at the local Sears store (I don't remember which one, but a really long time ago, so I'm thinking like Yorktown), there were a couple of people in front of me, and the phone rings, the lone women stops what she is doing and answers it.

Back to the customer at the counter, finished, next one up.. and the phone rings, again. Again she stops and answers it. Then looking around for what ever barbie accessory the phone call is about, and then back to the customer.

She STARTS over with the 2nd the customer, and the phone rings, at which point, still 2 deep in line I say in my not so inside voice, would it be better for you if I went outside and called you to pay for this??? (This was before cell phones, okay.)

She did not answer that call...

.75, the cost of some words.

2011-07-05T07:51:00.000-04:00

This was a tough weekend for me, there are some changes coming my way and I am not really sure I am ready to implement them, mostly that my stalled in place youngest son is coming to live with me. At least I have spelled out my expectations up front.

Also I had the chance to chat with someone, but I was heading out with my neighbor to drive his fathers car back to there house and drive him home. It was probably good that I had to head out because I was really felling down and could have used some snarky sarcastic wit. Worse was again missing that person afterwords, and I have no reasonable reason why. And that makes me all melancholy. (Copious use of 75 cent words)

I ripped the outer casing of my rear tire heading up to the Ashokan on a bike ride, torn a big old flap right into the tire, it was like a tongue slapping the brake caliper every turn of the wheel. I was able to glue back to the tire and ride home, but it cut my planned 65 mile day to 35. We had fireworks in town on Saturday, and last night on the river from Poughkeespsie, I am over it, I am fireworked out. BBq'ed with the fam and cleaned the abode.

I leave for Buffalo on Saturday.

And to take a breath.

2011-06-30T06:14:00.004-04:00

I finished my test plan this week.

It's Huge, almost 200 shifts. (189 to be exact, and if everything works, it is a nice easy tempo of 2.7 shifts per workday using a 5 day week, but as we all know, not everything works....)

It's been through review, no one has cut anything, and 3 modifications, not even additions, just changes.

Now I have to execute.. I hate that word. 3rd week of July until the 2nd week of October.

I am relieved to have completed it, it was a giant pain in my rear.

digits

2011-06-29T21:57:00.002-04:00

It's not about having the number, it's knowing that i wouldn't use it without your permission.

The Dirty Laundry

2011-06-27T20:22:00.002-04:00

You know, growing up we never gave much thought to what impact our actions or decisions might have on our parents. To this day my father knows very little about me, and our conversations are not ones that anyone would consider deep or substantial. Don't know who's fault that might be, but it is what it is.

One of the huge things that is haunting me is my youngest son, and his mother. The boy hasn't done anything since October of 2009.

What am I suppose to do?? It is breaking my heart, and stressing me to no end. After mulling over this, and getting no results I tapped out this note (so new generation), but you know, I can't really speak to him any more anyway.

So now I can sit here all stressed out again for sending a note, wondering if I should have, or not, or if i did the right thing or not.

But I can't even begin to describe the pain this is causing in words.

Well, I don't know if you truly would like to get together for some dinner or not. I am of course willing, but I am honesty struggling here and you know the prime focus of my end of any conversation with you will be your recent continuing inactivity.

I am both discouraged and disappointed by the follow through from you about getting a job, any job. At this point you need to be doing something, anything. At the same time it frightens me and I am powerless to seem to motivate you to accomplish anything. This can not continue for much longer, and we had, at least in my mind fostered an agreement and I expected you to be working by now. I am finding it increasingly difficult to support this behaviour from you, and I challenge you to step up and see the recruiter like we talked about. At this point it would do you a world of good.

I don't know what to do here, and am a complete loss, understand that I love you very much and I heartbroken at what I am seeing. I hope to god that you reach out and some point and see that no matter how brutal or unpleasant my advice and offer to live here may be, it is to help you, not make you suffer.

If you don't want to open up to me, than for god's sake open up to someone and do something.

Love, Dad.

Pool Boy

2011-06-27T06:42:00.002-04:00

Friday I had about 4 calls on my "leave me a message machine" from some marriage group. I was all set to tell them that whatever list you paid for from that might be supporters of a marriage group did not get you good info, and they ripped you off.

Been there, done that, and got the t-shirt, not a fan anymore.

It dawned on me over the weekend that these calls must have been about the gay marriage thing in New York, which is now legal. Well, maybe it will work better for the gays, since us hetero's have posted such outstanding white trash results.

Everyday I get up, try to keep my finger nails clean and appear at my work place. Where on a near daily never ending basis I am expected to preform incredible feats of work like action. Friday, i sat with a cup of coffee, a notebook and one of my trademark red pens (no one steals the red ones) in a little break nook. It was sort of gray and pasty outdoors. I was missing when my kids were little, and we would take a vacation. I would be sitting by the pool while the little urchins would spend countless hours in the pool. Sometime during the day the pool guy would come along, check and add chemicals, suck the dirt off the bottom and backwash the filter. Then he would get on his beach cruiser bike and pedal off the the next motel, and repeat the process. He was all tan and buff (I don't really know if he was "buff", since gay marriage has no interest for me, just saying.) but pretty relaxed and in decent shape. It was at that point I thought I would like to be the pool guy.

I would spend the day at the pools, the evenings drinking hurricanes with the hot beach girls and in the between times riding my bike. But since I would not make a hot pool guy, i went back to putting a test plan together, finished my coffee, and let out some monumental sigh.

2 Storys that appall and piss me off.

2011-06-24T06:31:00.003-04:00

You can click on this link to this story, but i am also going to cut and paste it, yes, it may be a copyright problem, but this short piece is important. We as Americans have sat by the sidelines for too long as corporations are sending our jobs elsewhere, the Government, particularly the Federal Government does nothing, which may or may not be there role, but they seem to be able to provide benefits and money to to other nations, and the States just keep giving money to those that have never earned it. Unless you are deaf and blind, every state is on the brink of failure, instead of providing safety and security, we have millions getting money, MY money that have never earned any of it.

Columnists | Hope thrives in Pontiac despite troubles | The Detroit News

Last Updated: June 24. 2011 1:17AM
Laura Berman
Hope thrives in Pontiac despite troubles
Residents cope with power outages, lack of jobs, fewer police

There's a new spirit in Pontiac: It's a throwback to the days of the American frontier.

Government hangs by a thread. People survive by inner resources and ingenuity.

In July, the Oakland County Sheriff's Office will take over the city's security. Pontiac's Water Department management is being contracted out. As the city's emergency manager floats a scheme to enable Oakland County to take over the city (the county isn't buying), the down-on-its-luck business district is outwardly optimistic.

It's been like this before: In 1831, the French traveler and historian Alexis de Tocqueville spent a night in Pontiac, then a village of 20 "clean and very pretty houses," where the price of land was cheap but the labor arduous and dear.

On a recent journalistic jaunt to Pontiac, cheap space was being hawked in the building fronts, and urban pioneers spilled onto the streets, as a power outage plunged the city's downtown into darkness for the second time in a week. (The first lasted more than two days, from June 8-10, shutting down City Hall, the court buildings and the entire shopping district.)

Main Street Pawn Shop owners Ron Berger and son Shelby Berger promptly set up shop on the sidewalk, as the city's plucky shopkeepers and business owners huddled in front of the Blue Note Café.

"Will you let Ignacio out of the elevator?" urged Blair McGowan, owner of the Crofoot Ballroom with its 1925 elevator, speaking to Fire Department authorities about his trapped employee. "He's in the dark in the basement."

This is frontier hardship, yet store owners and business people insist the worst days — when General Motors shut down its huge Centerpointe Complex and teetered toward collapse — are over.

"I do think we're on the cusp of something good," says Shelby Berger, whose family's pawn shop is a downtown fixture. He also notes that more people are buying firearms, as police protection withers and two-income families these days rely on one.

Or none.

The store offers everything from a $500 bearskin rug to Chris Webber bobbleheads to old video cameras, like the 1992 Sony that Lee Land, a Brighton commercial artist, picked up for $75 to transfer old videos to DVD.

Tekishaia Winters-Lloyd was working on her new Saginaw Street storefront, launching the "Fancy Pantz Boutique," one of 13 new retail stores opening as a result of "Rise of the Phoenix," which offered a free year's lease to long-term tenants. The program resulted in 52 leases, filling vacant spaces and the hopes of entrepreneurs like Winters-Lloyd.

Callers to City Hall wend their way through a maze of options, few of which are likely to produce a human connection. Residents say they hesitate to call the police when there's trouble, out of a belief that they won't come anyway, due to cutbacks.

Audrey Michael, mother of three and a manager at a fast food restaurant, moved to Auburn Hills to protect her kids. "I love this city but I'm scared for my son's safety," she says.

Last month, when a cashier was attacked by a customer, the police took an hour to arrive. "The perpetrators were able to get away. On foot. So you know it took a long time," she says.

Michael is pawning her Cadillac to raise money for repairs on her new house in Auburn Hills. "What you hear a lot is, 'It don't matter. The police ain't going to come,'" she says.

Outside, entrepreneurs gather as the power fades. A café owner, a theater owner, a lawyer worried about democracy, a music producer — hardy Americans with dreams.

In 1831, de Tocqueville's hotel host explained the Pontiac spirit: Struggle first, he said, for "later comes comfort and wealth."

lberman@detnews.com

(313) 222-2032

Laura Berman’s column appears Tuesdays and Thursdays.

And 2 Days ago in the Daily Freeman....

Ulster DA to meet with Kingston South Clinton Avenue neighbors today about youth disturbance (updated 1:31 p.m.) - DailyFreeman.com

And, the text as well, in case the article go's away.

BY PAUL KIRBY
Freeman staff

KINGSTON – Ulster County District Attorney Holley Carnright is scheduled to meet today with residents of South Clinton Avenue about concerns they have with ongoing youth disturbances in their neighborhood.

Residents say that Carnright is set to meet with them at 4:30 p.m. at the home of the McDonough Family at 10 South Clinton Ave.

The meeting comes on the heels of letters a group of South Clilnton Avenue residents wrote to Police Chief Gerald Keller telling of problems in the neighborhood, just off Greenkill Avenue near the Kingston Boys and Girls Club.

“These kids are continually getting away with what would be considered crime for an adult and our community is being held hostage by them,” says the letter signed by four residents. “. . .We are living in a constant state of fear and high alert trying to keep our children and property safe against a gang of youths that have no respect for anyone or anything.”

The letter says that the youths range in age from 7 to 15 years old, are unsupervised, trespass on their property, destroy gardens, “brazenly look through our windows, throw rocks at people, our houses, and vehicles, fistfight in the park and on the streets, ride bikes or walk on property, blatantly smoke marijuana at Barman Park, on the baseball bleachers, and even in the street at night.”

On some occasions, the letter says, youths have been heard to hurl racial slurs including “attacking a man playing basketball, hitting him, spitting on him, and telling him to go back to Mexico.”

Mayor James Sottile said today that he has deployed Assistant Corporation Counsel Shayne Gallo to the meeting. Sottile said Gallo has spent much time dealing with youth crime in Ulster County Family Court.

Gallo is also seeking to primary Alderman Hayes Clement, D-Ward 9, for the Democratic nomination for mayor. Clement received the Democrats' nomination durng a May 31 convention.

But Sottile says parents of the youths "need to reel their children in.

"The parents have to be more active in their children's supervision," Sottile said. "If that doesn't happen, the city is going to do whatever we can to keep the peace over there."

Sottile, along with Keller, says extra patrols have been deployed to the area. Keller has also written a letter to the residents.

"Although it is difficult dealing wth juveniles under the age of 16, we still have a curfew law that we can use if they are caught after 10 p.m. and hopefully with the additional attention, we can let them know we are wathcing their activity and keep them out (of Barman Park) after dusk."

Keller said that he "will do what I can to try and keep things quiet."

Because I am capable of something postive.

2011-06-21T20:17:00.002-04:00

It was the summer of 1978, on the radio was the hit song "Summer Loving" from the hit movie Grease. I rode my first long distance bicycle tour that year, Babylon NY to Well Fleet MA, on cape cod. A 500 mile round trip in 8 or 10 days, on a TEN SPEED.. oh yikes!!

In 1980 I rode from Brewster NY to Lake George, 3 days each way.

Then in 2001 I rode my first century, 100 miles in a day, Babylon NY to Montauk point.

It wasn't until 2008 that I rode my first FANY, 500 miles in 7 days. This year will be my fourth. And added to that, is another 400 miles on the Erie Canal ride.

I was out tonight, just a quick spin, 27 miles, on a awesome evening, a nice sky, nice temps, the kind of weather that is the best for riding. But thinking the whole time how much I love to ride.

But it started way back in 1978, So forever connected to that bike ride is this song...

Sometimes standing alone is the only way you'll know you are still standing

2011-06-19T08:01:00.002-04:00

I have a confession to make, I'm not really that awesome.

My friend Jessica is off to Newfoundland, about as far north as you can head before the names of the country's start to have the word "Ice" in them. It is a pretty long trip, a bit further than here to Miami, a good couple of days drive. She is a detailed planner, and for her the trip is about what is on the way, and where to go and what to see. I have travelled a little with her and it can be intense, so many things, so quickly, but you experience more like that. Also from a man's perspective, visiting small shops for items from other cultures, and blending them into home setting, again, I am way too Americanized. I can't blend native Indian arts with hand carved animals from Africa. I only know what I see set up in JC Penny.

As an American, i have been trained more towards having the experience created for you in one place, instead of to experience the places that exist.

In a way I am discovering that is what my life has been like, the same way I travel, to get going and to get "some place". Motorcycle touring, and now bicycle touring has changed that a little bit, but I still don't know how to stop and smell the roses. In a way that is part upbringing, part cultural and part business. I am expected to produce results, to start, complete and verify.

Friday I had small personal event that demonstrated to me, after what seem to be a glacial passage of time, that I can move on, and that I can change my feelings without some other drastic event or replacement obsession, and not just in a brief strong moment, but genuine passage of time. In this case it was sound unemotional logic, but at 5:10 PM, I knew in passing that demon was put away.

I knew at the point, I was standing alone, no one to hold me up, to lean on or whine to. Not always an easy place to be, but a place I need to be okay in.

8 Hours

2011-06-14T19:09:00.002-04:00

You can picture the scene, twilight on a hilly city street, the buildings dark and dirt streaked. No cars moving, as the middle aged man in work clothes walks alone to his apartment. He carries a metal lunchbox in one hand, and his jacket folder over his arm. He looks worn and tired.

The city is some northeastern gritty post manufacturing city, the man is walking, perhaps the hint of maybe having ridden a bus at some point.

That is the way I feel, the way that man looks. I can barely make 8 hours at work anymore, the energy and enthusiasm stripped away from our workplace. Any hope of a future being sucked away by management.

Even now, my checking account awaits some sort of reconciliation of money spent, vs money put it. The choice of typing some account of my doings here vs something real and necessary. The pull of a new CJ Box novel competing for my attention when this is done, or for the attention to consider and think about work.

In the end, the book will win, I sense it all ready, many things I should do, and other things i would like to do, like make a list of new books to read, or to clean up my music, lose the stuff I am tired of, and to make a list of music to get from the library to add something else.

I'm not doing these things, it bothers me, scares me. It makes me wonder if I have always been like this, or is this new? I'm not really sure any longer.

No, Still in NY.

2011-06-12T11:06:00.002-04:00

Okay, I am not moving to Nebraska, I have never been to Nebraska, I don't think I even know anyone from Nebraska. In all likely hood, I have never knowingly phoned Nebraska, flown over Nebraska in an airplane or ridden through Nebraska on Amtrak. Where is Nebraska anyway? That was Fiction.

However, I was in New Jersey yesterday and rode 65 Miles on the Revolutionary Ramble, a great ride put on by some great people raising money for the community ambulance corps in the area. Riding though Jockey Hollow, where the Continental army spent a pleasant winter camping in New Jersey.

Okay, maybe not...

“We reached this wilderness, about three miles from Morristown where we are building log huts for winter quarters. The snow on the ground is about two feet deep, and the weather extremely cold.” – Dr James Thacher, Continental Army Surgeon, 1779.

Despite the damp weather, I rode with Neil and Jersey Steve, who I meet on Fany #1, now 4 years ago. Great speculation was discussed as to which rock in Jockey Hollow George Washington took a leak on, we choose a rock assuming that all the trees there now are "new growth" and there are no survivors from that era. I never said we were a class act.

Post ride we had a hot lunch, and a class leading ride extra of a hot shower, which and after riding in rain is a REALLY great thing.

At these rides are always the "vendors" after the ride, promoting their products, and often that is where you learn about other rides. The rides in the area I live in, all now feature the Walkway over the Hudson.

Ride the Walkway over the Hudson and explore the FDR Mansion. Re-live the day with a sampling and dinner at a brew-pub.

complete with a crossing of the world's longest pedestrian bridge, the Walkway over the Hudson.

After a light breakfast we’ll start by pedaling over the Walkway Over the Hudson car-free bridge from Highland, NY to Poughkeepsie, NY -- the world’s longest pedestrian bridge.

One of the reason I would not do well in Marketing is that my description of riding a bicycle, clipped into pedals crossing a the walkway would be as follows.

"Enjoy a heart stopping challenge of weaving in and out of people darting in front you, some as large as a smart car, while walking counter the natural flow of traffic. Enjoy at least 2 dog fights with dogs attached to 12 feet long leashes setting up a trip wire across the entire walkway, or a pit bull from the hood trying to eat your dog. Add a few 7 year olds on Razor scooters trying to do a wheel suck on you as you dodge that slow moving wal-martian now moving with purpose to get back to the cooler full of sams choice cola at the falafel stand."

I know I can be a dick, but don't, JUST don't try to ride you road bike on that bridge on a weekend, you will fall.

At least some of the smart size people are out walking and getting some exercise, so It's not all bad.

2 days of travel, and it's the same.

2011-06-10T21:13:00.003-04:00

It's just about 1500 miles to O'Neill Nebraska, a good solid 2 12 hour days drive from here. I have my truck all loaded, and the biggest U-haul I could rent with the few things that I wanted to bring with me. Some of my mothers dishes, clothes, couple of bikes and my hand tools. I don't really own any furniture worth hauling out there.

Late on the second day I ease off I-80, and onto a 2 lane, US 20, the very same that is back in New York. There are no Super 8's, Mcdonalds or flying J truck stops. The nearest Dairy Queen is 35 miles from here, the county seat with a real brick courthouse is 22 miles due north. There is a John Deere dealer and Agway seed store just over the next county line, you guessed it, 45 minutes away.

In New York a secondary road like this one would be paved, striped and might even have shoulders, here it is a tar and stone road, with barely 8 foot wide travel lanes, but yet everyone is doing 80, down a tunnel of corn with the largest menace that might dart in front of you is a prairie dog.

Soon I turn off onto Bent road, I have no idea why it's called that, because it, like all the other roads are straight as an arrow. As I crest the hill, mindful of my brothers advice to take it easy, it's a tricky part of the road, I see what looks like a man dart in front of me, I slam on the brakes, my 11 year old Chevy biting down hard on the packed dirt road, dust swirling all around as the trailer pushes me to hard stop. I look out and find out that it's not a man, but a tumble weed, loose and rolling around. I stare out my dust covered wind-shield, and wonder what am I doing here? I have not seen a foreign car or IKEA since passing Chicago, yesterday before dinner.

I don't think my Sister in Law ever really liked me, but I had to go, New York had nothing left, I hated my job, was in love with the wrong person, and couldn't afford to keep drinking enough to at least make it tolerable.

When I passed though town, which was the last time I blinked, there was a huge green Shamrock painted on the main street by the traffic light. This is the international Irish strong hold of O'neill Nebraska. I stopped to grab a bite at the Blarney Stone, where I was served burritos in the colors of the Irish Flag. The pastor of the First Presbyterian Church came by, and seeing clearly that I was new in town, introduced herself.

When I heard her name... I decided maybe to try for Vegas instead. At least there the Irish pubs might actually serve Irish food.

Sorry, a little bike crazy this morning.

2011-06-08T06:34:00.005-04:00

Neil came over to ride last night, so i did a repeat of Monday, Highland to Hopewell Junction and back. It was warmer than last night, but if you are not in direct sun and moving on a bike, you are pretty comfy. We topped the ride with some Sam's Summer Ale at Sal's and a good bar burger and fries. (I added cheese and bacon to mine, sue me.)

So doing back to back 35 mile nights has me getting psyched for my 2 rides in July, i'm going here for 8 days of riding!! So if you want to come along, there may still be slots, check the rides web site.

Not sure where we are heading Thursday, but it is supposed to be very hot, and the heat index is going to be in the danger zone, and the bikes have to be cleaned and prepped for the Ramble in Morristown on Saturday.

Wait till I drag his butt to the Ashokan from my house...

3:15 and you were heading north on 9.

2011-06-07T06:32:00.001-04:00

In some ways I have this great forward moving plan. It's the execution phase, well, more like the commit to paper phase that is dogging me.

I rode to Hopewell again last night, via the walkway, city of Poughkeepsie, and various chunks of rail trail. While this lacks the rolling hills of desire and exercise, the pace seems to make up for it, and the 35 mile round trip is impressive for post work riding. The plan is to do the same later today. I was thinking/day dreaming of making a video of the trip, chunked out in 10 minute sections on you tube with odd and bizarre music. I meant to look for a camera mount last night, but failed to do that. I think it would be fun, and interspersed with sound snippets from the wizard of oz at every dog passing, "i'll get your little dog toto too... ", and a voice over, "this is just like shopping at walmart" at the 6 wide assed slow moving blocking the whole path obvious to anyone else that might use the trail or walkway people. Sometimes I amuse myself.

And speaking of walkway people, what is up with shorts this year, several times I have seen jean "cutoff" style shorts that about 1 size too small and really short where about 3/4 of inch of rear end is squeezed out at the edges, is this intentional?? Mind you these were not wore by typical walkway blockers (thank goodness), but by someone that could get away with this.

Gonna warm up today, and get hot tomorrow,

Train Ramble

2011-06-06T06:28:00.003-04:00

Why is it that if we build a new Runway or revamp the air traffic control system, it is an investment in our infrastructure?

Why is it that spending 6.4 Billion dollars on a new Car and Truck only Tappen Zee Bridge is a critical investment to our crumbing infrastructure, but spending another 6 Billion to include heavy rail as part of the same bridge to connect the east and west side of the Hudson via rail, "a waste of money"?

Why is it Every Year Amtrak has to go to Congress to receive it's operating subsidy, instead of receiving money in trust like the air or highway system? And the money spent on giving people a environmental sound transportation choice is viewed as money lost?

Consider this, as a station, Albany, New York boarded/detrained 737,259 passengers in 2010, that is a little over 2000 people a day.

Albany-Rensselaer, NY 737,259

In 2010, Amtrak Continued to set ridership records, of the last 8 years, 7 of them were all gains in ridership, April of this year saw another 10 percent increase over April of last year. It looks like they will beat the 28.7 million passengers they carried last year.

Next year they will start to add 25 more sleepers, which will be built in Elmira, NY and replacing 25 Diners, which are now amongst the oldest cars in service dating from the 1950's.

Liking trains makes this easy for me to support, but the reality is we need more choices for travel, that make better environmental sense.

Dreaming is free.

2011-06-03T11:02:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I bolted out of work on time, played stupid car tricks getting up Route 9 and arriving home. Why the rush, well, it was so nice outside, and I wanted to ride the new Rail Trail to Hopewell Junction and I have to make sure that I am back before the walkway is closed. So I did, turns out Hopewell and back is 35 miles from my house. Other then the Diddel road crossing, the new trail is very nice, and lots of people were out enjoying it.

There is a food processing company in Poughkeepsie that makes fillings and glazes for bake goods called Efco, and on the way home as I passed, clearly they were making that red jelly donut filling, you could smell it outside. I started to slip into a sympathetic sugar coma just from the smell, and my hunger at that point. It was windy as all get up going over the bridge, but the cool clear evening was really nice.

So, as usual I was daydreaming as I was riding, and wondering if I popped out between the cotton balls and q-tips and asked you to ride with me sometime, would you?

Breezer Days

2011-06-01T21:52:00.005-04:00

Wow, June has arrived.

You know that transition of work to not working, how do I make that happen? Every day when I leave work it comes with me, follows me to the car, and slips into the back seat.

A friend of mine and his wife stopped by this afternoon when I was outside putzing around the yard. I was a little jealous as how at ease they were, dressed nice and just kicking back. We talked for a little while, had a cold beer and it made for nice ending of the day.

Rather than bore thee with more philly train fest photos, I had the breezer out a few days ago on the new section of the Dutchess rail trail. I leave you a couple of shots I took while out on the trail, it is a very nice 6 mile ride on the new section. The piece between overocker road and the other side of RT 55 is scheduled to be built next year, so other than the missing link between the walkway and morgan lake, I will be able to ride from Highland to Hopewell, all on a trail. That is pretty incredible.

Over the next Horizon

2011-05-31T21:32:00.003-04:00

I went to the Dentist today for my semi annual scrapping, a dose of radiation for my head, some digging, looking at pictures, an overview of mouth tissues, the power washing and final layer of fluoride lacquer and I was pronounced fit to leave and not to come back until November. Those are the visits i like.

Being back at work was grim, once again the scent of survivors guilt is layering conversation, the utter frustration and hopelessness of having any sort of stability at work is gone again. I have a busy week coming up, so that will keep my focus for now.

So I googled this, "The sun lives in a dark house on the lonely side of the universe" I lifted it from facebook, and I really didn't find a exact match, which means it may have some originality. Being the dork I am, a reference of the lonely side of the universe immediately makes me think of an area of space we can see now, thanks to awesome optics and space telescopes. But the place we're looking at may be gone, a star there could have super nova'ed a couple of million years ago, the black hole all ready formed and growing, but yet, we still see what was there, because it will be another 500,000 years from now that we see the flash of the stars death, just as last of the light traveling though space gets here....

But we are here, and as far as we know, earth is still the go to place for us mostly water based oxygen breathing carbon life forms. And because of our sun, we get these cool things called rainbows, just like this one taken around 5:45 last Saturday, on Amtrak Train 670 heading north.

So even when it's dark and gloomy, the sun is there... Because without it we would freeze, quickly.

Winding down

2011-05-30T21:05:00.003-04:00

3 days off, it was not enough, cliché, sure..

It was hot this weekend, more like the 4th of July.

I went Philadelphia.

I rode on the new section of the Dutchess rail trail

I rode over the walkway, north to Rhinecliff, over the Kingston Bridge and back. 58 miles.

The hot weather brings the drama outdoors, the stupid arguments over stupid shit. It pains me to see it, hear it.

So that's all, good night y'all.

Philly Odyssey

2011-05-29T21:28:00.005-04:00

Saturday Morning I left my house at 4:15, drove around the Lloyd police car with a car pulled over on 9W, past the state police stopping cars at the end of the bridge and around the Dutchess county sheriff with a car pulled over in the left turn lane. Not bad, about 8 cops in 1.2 miles.

From Poughkeepsie I started my 5 railroad odyssey to Philadelphia, to see the Amtrak 40th Anniversary exhibit train. Seem like a good enough excuse to go ride trains to me.

I arrived in Grand Central at 6:30 on Metro North Railroad (P32-DM pushing 6 Bombardier shoreliner coaches), and made my way to the Shuttle (3 Bombardier R-62a cars) and to the #2 train (Bombardier R142 cars), downtown 1 stop to 34th Street, railroad # 2 down.

I made my way to the NJ Transit concourse in Penn Station, stopping for a bagel and coffee at Zarro's, and waited a few minutes for my 7:15 train, fully enjoying all the people waiting for the North Jersey coast train heading towards the beaches. This was a train of Bombardier multi level coaches, not sure if they have a code name or not, being pushed by a ALP-46 electric locomotive.

Arriving at Trenton and leaving NJ Transit, railroad 3 down, I had a few moments before my 9 AM Septa train, I snapped a few shots of a passing Acela and a Amtrak regional at the station, and the Septa Bomb train laying over.

From Trenton I rode in some General Electric Silverliner iv's on SEPTA, arriving at Philadelphia, 30th street at 9:45, and ending railroad #4's trip. Total cost was $42.75

The train was chock full of geeky passenger train stuff, so I was pretty happy. One Item I laughed about was the poster of the Rohr Turbo Train, which did yeoman service in NY for almost 20 years, the trains were very quiet to ride in, and had HUGE windows. Because they were jet powered, they sucked fuel down at a pretty good clip, they haven't been scrapped yet, but they are pretty much rotting in place today.

I spent the afternoon visiting the Franklin institute, Monk's cafe, the Reading Terminal market, walked along the Schuylkill river, and just enjoyed the nice day. Back at 30th street, at 5:10 I boarded an Amtrak Keystone service train to New York, and enjoyed a fast quiet ride in the quiet car, it was wonderful. Reclined in my seat, book out and enjoying the ride, the 90 minute ride was over way too soon. I had a short layover at Penn, and boarded the 7:15 Empire service train, and stepped off the train in Poughkeepsie at 8:30, cost coming home on my fifth and final railroad of the day was $51.00.

Sometimes I just want to be somewhere else.

2011-05-24T18:16:00.000-04:00

Okay, Enough with the end of the world stuff.

2011-05-23T06:33:00.002-04:00

I work with a great deal of pretty smart people, and with what seems to be the bench mark of stupidity too at the same time. Now, the end of the world Saturday was obviously a bust, so the topic around the water cooler (we don't really have one, everyone just seems to hover around my test area, where fireballs are readily available) is the ending of the Mayan calendar next year.

Okay, so here are my thoughts, the Mayan's were a pretty smart group, and they learned alot, Everything was going great until they started outsourcing all the manufacturing jobs to like Peru, gradually they went broke, failed to control immigration and basically let the CEO's run the government. What happened is the documentation on the Mayan calendar is incomplete, the last page is missing. On the last page, it says on December 22nd, go back the first page and start over.

After the planets line up, everything just starts over and repeats.

3835

2011-05-22T18:41:00.002-04:00

Anyone that lives around here, here being the Hudson Valley, and the Hudson Valley being smack in the middle of New York city and Albany, would know that the weather has been, umm.. unsettled.

Yesterday I lubed the bike, filled the tires and selected my kit for the day. Put everything in the car and checked the weather channel website for 15 or 16th time. This morning at 5:30 I backed out of the garage and pointed my car east towards Norwalk. Seat back, hot cup of coffee, some cars and Katy Perry qued and set the cruise at 70. I love driving Sunday mornings, the roads are virtually deserted. I rolled into Calf Pasture beach about 6:50.

I pinned my ride number on, 3835, and got setup with Neil and we set out for a 62 mile bike ride. The weather was foggy, normal for long island sound, but the fog got, like wetter, and soon we were riding in the rain. (BTW, the weather forcast, partly cloudy) After Toth park and starting around the Aspetuck Reservoir everyone was finally getting spread out. By then the water was dripping off my helmet, my glasses were fully fogged climbing and I was soaked under my jacket. But I still had a great ride, the last 20 miles were dry, and i was riding pretty good.

One todo out of today's ride, was to figure out why older women were called blue hairs. Well, here is the answer.

Now the prep begins for the work week, which I put off pending the end of the world, which did not occur.

Just Friday randomness

2011-05-20T09:30:00.002-04:00

I have in some of the more quiet moments of late had a Sean Connery sort of character talking to me, or at least wish that I did. Offering me sage advice on what to do next. We would talk about my job, which I don't see going much more than a couple of years, vs the time left I need to work. I would like to transition to something else, but fear, comfort and lack of resources all act as restrictions to me. I actually could teach plumbing and heating or Refrigeration and Air Conditioning, if I had a Masters degree. Yes, someone that can silver solder and use a vacuum pump would need a masters to teach that in NY. I scratch my head...

Sean and I would discuss my obsessive infatuation as well, the problem is he always winds up agreeing with me. So I just continue to abuse myself in ways the look like a giant sine wave, great hope and enthusiasm peaks and the valleys of reality. And then he would ask for more cheap ass Rye like Canadian Club, and his speech would slur more. I always limit myself to a couple fingers of 12 year old Jamesons on these trips.

I really like the upside feelings, and it is then that my control is at it's weakest. When someone could manipulate me and get whatever she wants. And during the valleys the logic and sound thinking prevail. I'm better at controlling the peaks these days, but they still occur. I often wonder how it is for others? Eventually i will emerge and grow and move on. The problem is, I don't want to and what I really want is in the peaks, i enjoy the peaks, at the same moment I am both excited, and scared.

For that reason I am grateful to be as shy as I am, you'll never find me taking charge in a relationship, and at least if I am going to obsess over someone, that person has similar traits, which keeps me in check.

And that is why Normal for me, is just merely a suggested outline.

Looking for a few more cubits of planks for this boat i'm building

2011-05-18T06:16:00.003-04:00

No riding since Sunday... Not a great week to take off, since the bloomin metric is this Sunday. But I did some plumbing work Monday, and tonight as well, I might try to squeeze in another job this week yet. So that is a plus.

Been a little blue, a little stressed over work, nothing terrible, but I need me some wheel time.

Those little tags

2011-05-17T06:41:00.002-04:00

Everyone has those little tags on their keyrings, the secret society of frequent buyers. I have but 2, and I'm pretty sure one of them won't work if I try to use it. I have my library card, and a Shop rite price plus card. Shop Rite was a very early adopter of tracking their shoppers. They did this with the installation or RS/6000's in all their stores to collect that data. I installed a few of them, just like I was at Sam's club years ago installing 4683 POS terminals the day before it opened.

Shop rite was not ground breaking, but it was the first incorporation of check privileges into a tracking system that I am aware of, and inventory control. So you got sale prices, you could write a check and get cash back and they got the information if you had a pet, was cooking meth, drank alot of cheap beer or a little of better beer. Data mining at the point of sale. Soon others followed. But if you were writing a check, you had to have it, and that was the edge that brought them fast and high compliance. This was before debit cards were in widespread use, and grocery stores did not take credit cards.

By the time I was up to like 5 of these stupid little tags I then encountered the next level of the frequent shoppers frenzy. If I paid barnes and Noble for their card, I would get 10 percent off everything, and special offers. I said no thanks, and pretty much stopped buying anything there. I am not paying someone for a lesser price, I want the option of buying what I want at a fair price from who I want. I have always held a grudge against barnes and noble, they were the operator of the bookstore at my college, they were predatory and monopolistic. It is sad to see the paradigm shift on bookstores, I love book stores, and the purchases I have made there usually involve local history, railroad history or children's books. Anytime I've needed a auto manual, I'll get it from advance auto parts or rock auto.

Anyway, I find it odd that years after college, my distrust of barnes and noble remains, and their frequent shoppers card sealed that deal.

So I don't know how you market to me, but it is not with your private sale. I'll just go buy the same thing somewhere else.

It's true, we get like them.

2011-05-12T06:47:00.000-04:00

A little story, a couple of years ago the roof needed to be replaced on my fathers house. This time it was to be a full rip off of the original, and the second roof put on top of it.

As he was discussing this with me he was complaining that the current roof was not that old, it was done not that long ago. Dad, I put that roof on, When I was in High School. You got your moneys worth out of it, especially since the labor cost to you, was a new AM/FM Cassette radio for my Buick.

This week on a discussion of Bicycle maintenance, I casually referred to my new bike as not really needing anything. My new bike is 3 years old, and has over 2500 miles on it. I guess it is true, we become "like" our parents.

I'll toss a chain on it and probably replace the shifter cables (I replaced all the cables last year), but we should be good to go. The shifters get a lot of use by me, and if they start to bind they are really tough on the VERY expensive levers that move them.

And you'll need a stamp.

2011-05-10T08:50:00.000-04:00

No matter how much you push the envelope,
It'll still be stationery.

Somebody has a case of the "Munday's"

2011-05-09T13:13:00.002-04:00

Honestly, I'd like to start my days on a awesome bike ride, get up, get out, ride and get it done.

Return home, cleanup and do some creative thing from my loft, cool music that I change with the flick of my finger on i-tunes, enhancing my genius and producing some awesome work that earns me big bucks. I want my work to be desired and in demand, to be a cool hipster appalled at having to go endure another showing of my work at a bare brick wall shiny hardwood floor gallery in some shitty neighborhood.

But I am not that person, most days i am up and gone before 6, working. Making sure things that other people have created work and stick to the rules. Some days I'll ride after work, if the weather is just so, or I'll slip into curled ball of slothfulness, with a book, a train magazine or reading someone's creative wanderings from the vast piles on the internet. And not everything on the internet is rewarding, socially redeeming or life expanding. But it still can be fun.

Weekend days can start the same way weekdays end, but with a cup of coffee added to my special mix of slothfulness and entropy.

Right now as I day dream of all this, my notes sit scattered around me, the remains of a 3 hour old cup of coffee and old-er music quietly filling the corners of my space. a 7 tabbed spread sheet, with some old data, and new information slowly, so very slowly emerging as a test plan. Struggling to form the framework for guided steps of verification.

Something random from that miswired mess of synapses

2011-05-08T07:36:00.004-04:00

2 items up for bid...

1) I have been thinking about a upgraded phone with a keyboardish thingie, mostly to be able to text without each text taking 20 minutes to type out a message. (That would be about 4 words) But also to be able to stealthily take photos of how people leave their home dressed. Now, granted, I am no slave to fashion, wear jeans and t-shirts, and mostly shirts from bike rides. So I don't take a great amount of pride in my appearance, maybe I should, but i don't. At least my clothes are clean, you can't see my underwear, my pants are not ripped, i don't wear tank tops, my hair is not a mess and is only 2 colors (the born with color and the gray mixed).. i don't know, maybe I don't really have a right to judge others here, but really, could you dress a little neater?

2) I saw this in missed connections... this just oozes high class

May 7 - we locked eyes at the chinese buffet - m4w -

Really?? The chinese buffet, oh yeah, this would be one of those places i'd get a ton of use out of that smart phone camera.

Over Mohonk.

2011-05-07T20:29:00.003-04:00

Today I pushed, pushed myself a little more than normal. For the first time I rode up and over Mohonk. Up Mountain road, Steep little nasty hills that would block any view with a wall of asphalt. Then up County Route 6, Monhonk road, a 3 mile climb that mostly I stayed in my granny and stayed on the saddle, standing a couple of times to power up the little nastys. This little sweetheart had a average of 5.2% grade. No, you won't see me on this years tour de france, but good enough to take me out of my easy 27 mile loop of repetitiveness. And the 35 MPH descent on the other side, peaking at 41 MPH.

I really want to buy a garmin.

It was all good today.

Stupid Human Tricks

2011-05-05T06:15:00.002-04:00

So this morning, I woke up, the birds were singing, I felt great, and I was thinking how great today was going to be...

Ahh... you know me better than that...

After hitting the snooze button the prerequisite several times, I made my way to the alter of caffeine. I hugged my coffee pot and began the removal of the remains yesterdays coffee. Lined the receptor of new coffee with a fresh filter and reached for my bag of coffee, (currently Vermont roasters breakfast blend) and discovered the bag was empty. (We won't discuss who left the empty bag on counter, it's not important to the story). Reached in the cabinet, removed a fresh bag of coffee, wrested with the perfectly sealed bag to open it. Opened the coffee grinder, and scooped out 3 spoons of coffee. Put the lid on the grinder and pressed, and I was like that doesn't sound right, opened the grinder and then realized... I brought a bag of ground coffee.

And that my friends is why we drink tequila on cinco de mayo.

I'm that easy.

2011-05-04T06:44:00.001-04:00

I can be bribed for sneakers, oh hell yeah.

I missed A-day

2011-05-02T19:56:00.003-04:00

First off, I am appalled that I forgot this....

Yesterday was Amtrak's 40th Birthday.

Happy Birthday Amtrak

Yesterday I woke up in Wayne County PA, yeah, I don't know where it is either. I drove out there from Peekskill on Saturday, after helping my sister and brother in law move some couches. Anyway, from prestigious Lake Henry I drove to North East Pennsylvania's premiere city, Scranton. (if you squint, you can see a city like area)

And rode in the 8th Tour de Scranton, yes, the 2011 season has begun. This year July will have not one, but 2 crossings of New York State by bicycle, for 900 miles of riding in July.

And rode out of Scranton to Dickson city,

Carbondale,

And finally towards Forest city.

It was just 2 months ago...

2011-04-30T10:03:00.004-04:00

Snowblower greased, oil changed and drained of gas.. CHECK
Lawnmower filled with gas and started.. CHECK

Remembering the winter of 2010/2011, NOT

We went from this.....

To This....

So happy it's Friday

2011-04-29T05:55:00.003-04:00

So I am breaking in a new contractor at work, which is largest and most frustrating vacuum of my time, sucking every bit of energy out of me, and leaving the 14 hours of stuff I do in 10 hours undone.

I have been trying to compose a awesome note to someone, and I get these great little bits that enter mind to put in there, but when it comes time, or i find the time to like write anything, nothing. I really need a memory stick inserted in mind that I can record my imaginary key stokes with, so I don't wind up sending so crappy pathetic note.

We've had some rain, but the moments of good weather have been awesome!! The lawn mower is ready for action, the first "organized" bike ride of the year is Sunday.

A friend of mine signed up for the Fany ride this week, he went to Virgina last year with me, and he's nervous about the mileage on the ride, but I'm like, if I can do it, pretty much anyone can.

Proof that Men Have Better Friends...

2011-04-27T06:23:00.001-04:00

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

The bridge on the Hudson Valley Rail Trail

2011-04-23T20:43:00.003-04:00

Que the music from the Movie The Bridge on the river Kwai.

In case you don't recall that little tune, listen here... It will stick with you for a few weeks.. Play it really loud, it will drive your cube mate batshit.

Now with the music playing, read on...

Last April the concrete arch bridge over the Hudson Valley Rail trail was torn down, it was a simple concrete arch span. Once the bridge was removed, the contractor discovered fiber optic cables. (Those would be the ones buried that paid for rail trail in the first place) Of course, the site plans from Ulster county failed to include those cables. Once the finger pointing and whose is going to pay for it ended, work was to resume, except now the state was broke. Summer became fall, sometime late fall work started again, so all the concrete was poured in the dead of the winter, the best time to do concrete work (not).

I think it took less to to build the bridge on the river Kwai for the movie, film the movie, blow up the bridge, edit the movie, release it and wait for DVD's to be invented so the movie could be released on DVD.

So It is April 2011, and the new bridge is still not done. But it should be done soon..

Now that you have added the music from the bridge on the river Kwai to your MP3, I leave you with another diddy from the Magnificent Seven.

Plan B

2011-04-21T20:30:00.003-04:00

Yesterday Jessica came down off the mountain, and after some business in the greater Poughkeepsie Metro Plex, she stopped by the highland palace.

About the time she pulled in here, the sky went from overcast and grey to almost blue as the gloom burned off in about 9 minutes. We were headed back to Arlington out by Vassar to try a soul food place, but detoured to the walkway over the Hudson. So I was able to actually take Jessica somewhere that she had not been before, which is pretty rare. After the detour we drove out to the soul food place, which upon arrival we discovered that did not serve adult beverages. After deciding that adult beverages were both necessary, and needed, we embarked on a little smart phone surfing and some brain cell retrieval from my head we headed to Main st. Between the 2 of use we consumed a large picture of Sangria, and some ok Spanish food at the Castillo Español on Main st. After touring Main St, we had some coffee at caffe aurora and finally returned back to Highland. It was just a random occurrence of events, that gelled together nicely for a change.

I do like how her energy encourages me to try different things and just go with it. And you know, i get to be seen out in public with someone who is pretty hot looking. Though I did catch a little train backlash as the Lake Shore Limited headed north.